{"id":584,"date":"2011-06-14T03:00:02","date_gmt":"2011-06-14T01:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.somethingwicked.co.za\/?p=584"},"modified":"2012-03-02T14:37:01","modified_gmt":"2012-03-02T12:37:01","slug":"a-question-of-faith","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/2011\/06\/14\/a-question-of-faith\/","title":{"rendered":"A Question of Faith"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3>by A. Roberts<\/h3>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><input class=\"art-button\" onclick=\"window.location='https:\/\/weightlessbooks.com\/something-wicked-issue-10\/'\" type=\"button\" value=\"Buy E-Mag\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-585\" title=\"A Question of Faith\" src=\"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/aqof3-300x212.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"212\" srcset=\"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/aqof3-300x212.jpg 300w, https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/aqof3.jpg 325w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"firstline\">\n<p>He heard the shells coming,  could almost feel them rumbling through the sky, like air-borne express trains,  and he knew that when they landed, ton upon ton of earth, men and weaponry  would again be flung as much as fifty paces into the air.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Shells incoming<\/em>,\u201d  someone screamed, as though three years of war had left the few old soldiers in  any doubt as to just <em>what<\/em> was incoming. Men began diving into  prepared holes in the ground, while others sought refuge in the remains of  buildings standing like rotten, broken teeth on the remains of the only paved  road the town had once enjoyed. On the outskirts of the town, someone began  hitting the horn of a heavy-duty vehicle, its blast ending only with the  explosions of the first shells.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><!--more--><br \/>\nThey\u2019d enjoyed nearly a half hour without the shelling, but  now it was back again, just as lethal, just as murderous, just as blindly  determined to destroy every living thing in its way.<\/p>\n<p>The shells started landing in increasing numbers, thudding  into the wet earth a fraction of a second before they detonated with a mighty  roar, to be followed by another and another and another.\u00a0 Huge gouts of black earth were thrown  skywards, together with tree stumps, bits of masonry, weapons, horses, vehicles  and men.<\/p>\n<p>Their own artillery opened up in reply, but it was a feeble  reply at best compared with the heavy 155\u2019s the enemy enjoyed, which could  throw a half ton shell seventeen or eighteen miles.<\/p>\n<p>Many had begun to go mad, he could hear them screaming, could  hear others calling out, crying for the medics who themselves were huddled into  the deepest holes they could find, their hands over their ears, mouths wide  open in a vain attempt to lessen the damage to their frail bodies and minds.<\/p>\n<p>He curled into a tight foetal position, the terror forcing his  head into his lap. Clods of mud struck him, splashes of ice-cold water showered  down on him. Something heavy hit him hard on the shoulder, he squinted one eye  open and saw that it was a human head, its helmet still firmly fixed in place  by the chinstrap. It looked like Tyndal, fresh into the lines only four days  before, a youngster not yet nineteen. He recalled a skinny kid, a band of  freckles across his nose and slightly buck teeth which were still showing  through lips drawn back in the grimace of death. He\u2019d gone to C Company along  with a few dozen others. Perhaps they were all gone now? Did anyone know? Did  anyone care?<\/p>\n<p>This was the third day of almost continuous bombardment, day  and night, never-ending, driving men insane, collapsing trenches and burying  men alive along with their useless weapons. The emergency rations were long  gone, but no replacement food came up. No hot tea or coffee, no hot food. The  runners tried. God knows they tried, their broken bodies and shattered food  containers attested to that. It was all such a dreadful waste, all such a  foretaste of the hell to which so many were destined to descend when their time  came.<\/p>\n<p>He was numb, terrified, but he was still able to <em>feel<\/em>,  he could sense every known emotion coursing through his veins, but terror was  paramount . You could not fight back. You can\u2019t shoot huge artillery shells out  of the sky. The enemy is faceless, five hundred cannons sitting perhaps six  miles behind the lines. You can only endure.<\/p>\n<p>The barrage lessened for a moment, the silence it brought more  deafening than the explosions. Then it started up again. The gunners probably  paused so that more ammunition could be brought up, or maybe they wanted a cold  beer, or a smoke. Who knew? Who cared? The world was just a rumbling,  exploding, earth shattering nightmare. World <em>with <\/em>end, Amen.<\/p>\n<p>How many troops were still alive in the division? The Seventh  was not a composite division, it had no artillery or MP\u2019s or Intelligence boys  trundling around, so it was just several thousand men, or it was until three  days ago. They\u2019d been told that this was a quiet sector, that they were going  there for a rest and a re-fit after the big battles of May and June which had  cost so many lives and returned so little profit.<\/p>\n<p>They\u2019d also been brought up to strength again with new drafts  from home and were now more than 60% barely-trained kids who were supposed to  get their further training in this quiet sector. Well, it <em>was<\/em> quiet until the enemy decided to paste  it, turning all their heavy artillery onto this tiny stretch of broken  wilderness which was no more than three or four miles long.<\/p>\n<p>So, the only training  the kids received was in how to die screaming, or how to disappear under a  mountain of earth without a sound, or how to simply dissipate into a thousand  tiny bits when a big shell hit their feeble holes in the ground.<\/p>\n<p>Many of the new kids, the so-called <em>replacements<\/em>, did not even  enjoy those feeble scrapes in the ground, their arrival too recent for them  even to begin settling in. If they did not find someone else\u2019s hole, they found  nothing\u2026except instant and murderous death, buried under tons of dank, black  earth.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d been in it three years, November it would be four. He had  a long scar on his side from a bayonet thrust that just missed, a large  puckered scar on his upper chest<\/p>\n<p>from a sniper\u2019s bullet that  did not miss, and a ruined face from the flat of a entrenching tool wielded by  a huge enemy corporal trying to win back some lost ground for his Fatherland.<\/p>\n<p>Every one of the boys he had joined up with was gone. He was  alone now, an old man of 23, without kith or kin in this war, a colour sergeant  risen from the ashes of a callow youth who joined because war promised  adventure, laughs, danger. Well, he knew now that war promised all those  things, plus the added bonus of instant death and painful death, shattered  limbs, blindness, deafness, insanity, disease, hunger, fear, and perhaps worst  of all, a loss of faith in a loving God.<\/p>\n<p>Again and again the question was raised and begged an answer,  \u201cHow can a merciful God allow this sort of thing to happen?\u201d The chaplains  always hid behind rhetoric when this question was asked, while the priests  retaliated with the stock reply, \u201cOne must just have faith.\u201d The divisional rabbi  shrugged his bony shoulders when asked and replied, \u201cNu, there\u2019s always wars.  God allows them as a means of controlling the population.\u201d But, he said it with  a smile and no one begrudged him.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0  Perhaps he meant it. Perhaps it was true. But, how could God make a  woman go through nine months of carrying, then a day or more in agony giving  birth, then follow it up with 18 or 20 years of standard boy\u2019s life before  blowing the poor bugger to pieces? Where was the question of faith in all that?  What faith?<\/p>\n<p>When he joined up, he  did so with fellows from his hometown, Arthur and Frank, Tony and Jack. They\u2019d  done their basic together, went to the same regiment, the same battalion, were  in the same platoon. They entrained for the front together in a so-called Pal\u2019s  Battalion, and with the one exception, they all died together. All for no<\/p>\n<p>discernable gain whatsoever.<\/p>\n<p>The hole he lay in now had  originally been part of an enemy trench, captured from them last year,  re-captured in the October battles and then taken back in March and after that  re-captured again. You could see by the trouble taken with concrete and  corrugated iron at the sides that the trench was originally built by enemy  engineers. His own engineers did it differently.<\/p>\n<p>Three years they\u2019d been fighting over this patch of foreign  earth, and by his own reckoning they were less than a mile from the place  they\u2019d started. He\u2019d seen a sign post just a few days ago when they were moving  up, and with a thrill of horror realised that he\u2019d been in this town before,  three years or more before, and in the meantime perhaps five million men had  died fighting for its possession.<\/p>\n<p>It was insane\u2026 Worse, it was all for nothing.<\/p>\n<p>But the staff, sitting comfortably twenty or more miles behind  the lines, were certain that the ruined little town was important. Did it not  command a view of the valley below? And was it not the junction of several  railway lines? Never mind that they had all disappeared more than two years  before leaving absolutely nothing to show that they once even existed? The maps  the staff used were three years out of date, showing towns long gone, roads  long buried, hills levelled by artillery fire, forests now little more than  blackened earth and jagged stumps, railway links that had been torn up for use  elsewhere, rivers that were now little more than muddy rivulets filled with  bodies.<\/p>\n<p>And no one came up to the front from HQ to even begin to  understand how wrong they were, how murderously wrong.<br \/>\nHe squinted up at the watery  sun, its light intermittently hidden from sight as thick clouds of black smoke  wafted over the shattered earth and obscured it from the sight of the men below.<\/p>\n<p>The enemy shells continued to rain down, throwing more and  more earth into the hole where he cowered, his only company the head of young  Tyndal lying so quietly near his booted foot. The eyes were wide open, as was  the mouth in a silent scream that no one would ever hear. Perhaps Tyndal, at  that defining second in his life, was screaming for his mother? Or was he  calling to God to save him? Or was he simply bellowing his rage and hate for a  life that had hardly been lived before it was cut off?<\/p>\n<p>He pushed at the head with his boot, but the desire to keep  covered made his attempts feeble at best. His foot struck at the head, at the  helmet, but nothing seemed to help, the head in its steel container was still  there, resting against his leg as though part of it. He felt something pressing  against his chest. His gas mask! He moved it slightly so that it stopped  pressing so insistently into his breast bone as more and more shells thundered  down, as more and more tortured earth flew up and then came down in a series of  terrible thuds like lethal rain.<\/p>\n<p>The spongy earth beneath his body shuddered and trembled like  a frightened beast, his scrabbling fingers sought to dig him even deeper into  the bosom of Mother Earth, the blackened, broken nails and pasty flesh  attesting to the horrors man must sometimes endure in the name of patriotism.<\/p>\n<p>His heightened senses shrieked silently for relief. None came.  He could hear death whispering to him, offering him an embrace from which there  was no return. He could<\/p>\n<p>smell death and in those  precious seconds, he realised how fragile was a life, how short, how wasted by  war and destruction. He saw his mother before him, her smile and her touch  reassuring him, \u201cDon\u2019t worry,\u201d she said quietly. \u201cI am with you always. Come to  me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>At last, the shelling began to quieten, then to fall away  completely. Three days of hell would transform themselves into a new and just  as frightening situation.<\/p>\n<p>Within moments the attack would come.<\/p>\n<p>Thousands of enemy grey-uniformed soldiers would emerge from  their trenches and begin walking at a steady pace towards what was left of the  shattered division, their rifles at the ready, their faces grim with fear and  anger.<\/p>\n<p>He lay still, his eyes closed, his body half covered with  earth and rocks. An enemy soldier jumped into the hole with him and made to  drive his bayonet right through his body before passing on.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t waste your time,\u201d a junior officer  said, looking down at the prone, filthy form. \u201cCan\u2019t you see, the poor  bastard\u2019s been dead for days.\u201d<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center;\">Copyright \u00a9 2010 by A Roberts<br \/>\nIllustration \u00a9 2010 by Vincent Sammy<br \/>\nOriginally published in Something Wicked Issue 10<\/h5>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-58\" title=\"Horizontal-Rule\" src=\"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/Horizontal-Rule.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"433\" height=\"26\" srcset=\"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/Horizontal-Rule.png 433w, https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/Horizontal-Rule-300x18.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 433px) 100vw, 433px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><em>A. Roberts is a former journalist who has also worked as the deputy head of radio and TV news at the Rhodesia Broadcasting Corporation.<\/em><em> <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>He has written several short stories as well as a full length novel.<br \/>\n<\/em>A Question of Faith<em> is his first published credit.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<h3>By A. Roberts<\/h3>\n<table width=\"85%\" border=\"0\" cellspacing=\"5\" cellpadding=\"5\">\n<tr>\n<td valign=\"top\">\n<p>He heard the shells coming, could almost feel them rumbling through the sky, like air-borne express trains, and he knew that when they landed, ton upon ton of earth, men and weaponry would again be flung as much as fifty paces into the air.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShells incoming,\u201d someone screamed, as though three years of war had left the few old soldiers in any doubt as to just what was incoming. Men began diving into prepared holes in the ground, while others sought refuge in the remains of buildings standing like rotten, broken teeth on the remains of the only paved road the town had once enjoyed. On the outskirts of the town, someone began hitting the horn of a heavy-duty vehicle, its blast ending only with the explosions of the first shells.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<td align=\"center\">\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazines\/something-wicked-issue-10\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/CoverIssue10Smaller.jpg\" alt=\"Something Wicked Issue 10\" width=\"140\" height=\"198\" border=\"0\" align=\"top\" class=\"size-full wp-image-49\" title=\"CoverIssue10Smaller\" \/><br \/>\n        <\/a>Published in <br \/>\n        Something Wicked Issue 10<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><input class=\"art-button\" onclick=\"window.location='https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/2011\/\/06\/a-question-of-faith\/'\" type=\"button\" value=\"Read\" \/><\/p>\n<p><input class=\"art-button\" onclick=\"window.location='https:\/\/:\/\/weightlessbooks.com\/something-wicked-issue-10\/'\" type=\"button\" value=\"Download\" \/><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[68,226,178,3,82],"class_list":["post-584","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction","tag-a-roberts","tag-fiction","tag-horror","tag-sw-issue-10","tag-vincent-sammy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=584"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2011,"href":"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584\/revisions\/2011"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=584"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=584"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/somethingwicked.co.za\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=584"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}